If you hear from the children’s room or the kindergarten, “That’s mine! Leave it!” it is a real opportunity for children to start learning what proper communication looks like and what behavior is unacceptable.

Stay calm

Children mostly imitate adults, so if a parent reacts violently to their pranks, it is very likely that the child will recognize that kind of a behavior as a normal reaction when disturbed. So stay calm so that they can learn how to behave.

You are dealing with a child

Children reach for a fight because they do not know how to handle with their own frustration. According to experts, they are still not able to express themselves verbally enough and thus to relate to the parents.

This is another reason for the adults to approach them calmly, without screaming, without beating, without nervousness.


Once your child is calmed down, repeat the key words that calmed the situation and separated the feelings from the actions. Perhaps the most appropriate “mantra” is: “It’s OK to get angry, but it’s NOT OK to hurt people”… Or: “We don’t fight. I would never hit you and you wouldn’t hit me, right?”

But the most important thing is what you do, not what you say. In that sense, tell to the little one that his feelings are important too, while pointing out which behavior is (un)permissible.

Related article: 10 Ways How To Behave Towards Children In Order To Keep The Future Of Humanity Safe

Do not use penalties

According to experts, punishing a child prone to fights will not prevent him from repeating it. In that way you are only exaggerating his fears and frustrations. In order to eradicate such behavior, it is necessary for the parents to devote themselves to the feelings that make the child get into fights.

Try to find the situations that cause unwanted behavior. Once you understand the circumstances, you can better bridge the problems together.

Instead of “standing in the corner”, stay together

Sending the child to “stand in the corner” is often counterproductive. Instead of discipline, it leads to a kind of isolation, “loneliness” and to a greater fear, and thus to a greater aggression. Experts instead, recommend for the parents to stay with their child and thus “cool” the boiling state. The goal is to make the child feel safe, because only then he or she will be able to share with you why there’s a desire to get into a fight.

Hitting pad

Literally give your child a pillow to serve as a hitting pad. It just has to release the anger, even if it hits the floor with its feet. Psychologists think that in this way they will remember what they should do when they will get angry.


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